THIS'S JUST IN. I checked out my timetable again just a few minutes ago aaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnndddddd * drum roll* ....... I GOT INTO JAPANESE CLASS! woohoo. Lecturer's name is KENJI OTA. hahah kenji!!....kenshin.... kenji! Hope he's not that old....not that i checked out lecturers but yah.... Just not too old lah....erm......-___-''' ok anyway, I got into story class. So yah its hell. I wonder why i choose that. Is that my 1st or 2nd choice? i can't remember!

Hari Raya is like next week. I am so and not so ready. Why? hmmm i don't know myself. Another Strabucks meeting is going to be held pretty soon and i predict that a war is going to happen between the baristas and managers. It'll be scary. Everybody is unsatisfied about either something or everything. Me...i just DON'T CARE. Can i like not go....? N there's going to be a chalet outing at Sentosa on 9th Oct which happens to be compulsary for all baristas so that we get to know each other better. Lets rephrase it= we MUST know each other better. I think i know them a whole lot just by working with them -___-. N worse come to worse, I already have a chalet gathering for 4 straight days with DMD0705. And Holly will surely kill me if i don't turn up coz i already promised them that i'll go. Luckily i'm like so occupied on the 10th. That'll be the day when i (hopefully) get those braces out of my teeth for like.....the rest of my life! and i probably be buzy on that day chewing on beef and gum and brushing my teeth till they're gleeming white and smiling in front of the mirror and taking pics of myself without braces on and of course, GRINNING all day long.Sorry people :)

Ok i'm off.bye.

I got to know my gpa. It's 2.5. Dropped from a 2.7. Gosh i slacked a lot. I gotta buck up but i think its impossible for Sem 2. I hope to get to take up Japanese or French class for my electives....Hopefully lah. But alot of my classmates told me french is super hard.....No harm done if i take up french rite....?

Anyway i don't want to think of school for the moment. I really need a break from it. I already predict that my gpa will drop and it really did. And Mr.Juinn gave me a B for Drawing with..... only 2 credits! WTH?! Isn't that like TOO LITTLE CREDIT for a B grade. Wait....HOW DO U EVEN GRADE OUR MODULES? -____________-""""

OK i've finished painting...ME! haha lol. I feel oh-so-vain.* slaps myself*

I seem to be missing an eyebrow! Ohohoho. My background is anyhow-do-one. ok i wanna start doing fanart. I like long time never draw anime style. Should start practising.

Nowadays i'm into J-rock indie bands. Kakak and WahidaH told me that they can't sing and they sound horrible. But i don't know why...I guess my taste in music is somewhat..different....

I'm out of ideas on what to write so i ciao-ing. Ciao! huh.......?

COUGH.COUGH.COUGH. I'm having major sore throat. My voice has evolve to a man's voice. Mak Lang said i sound like a bapok. And it's true. Yesterday, Me, mak lang, kakak, wahidah went to parkway parade to find some shoes and accesorries for the upcoming Hari Raya. People at the mall kept turning around and staring at me everytime i let out my voice. So embarrasing... Today i took MC from work coz i still can't talk properly. I can like only whisper to people.

Anyway, I already bought another baju kurong for Raya. All our baju kurong has the same pattern but its different in color. Ibu bought a green one, kakak bought a red one which looks really nice on her, Wahidah is already satisfied that hers is black in color, and I got a......PINK one. LIke its really pink! *winks at Holly* But i don't mind. I have already given up looking for nice/favourite color/etc/etc clothes for Raya a long long time ago. Coz what i am worried about is the size. I guess i am too tall. I am actually a size S. But because of my height i have to wear a size M or L. There's no point wearing something u think is nice but the size doesn't fit u. Same goes for the shoes. I wanted to just wear flat pumps but i bought something with heels. Argh. Wahidah kept saying my shoe looks like some cinderella shoe. like whatever.

I haven't been blogging for while.....In fact i rarely blog! lol.
Here's the things which have been happening in my life:
1) I started watching Detroit Metal City. Hilarious. Please watch it. It's a 15 minutes episode. Currently there's 4 episodes.

2) I worked from 8am to 4pm for last week and i regretted it. I decided to switch working the evening shift from next week onwards.

3) I haven't been practising my painting for a while so i am starting now. I am painting a potrait of myself. I'll post it up here once its done. Nice or not nice.

4) I watched an anime trailer at crunchyroll the other day and i notice jigoku shoujo season 3, Fullmetal Alchemist Season 2, Kuroshitsuji is coming out soon so i can't wait. Hope its not over rated or something. ( i hope Ling and Lan Fen comes out in FMA season 2)

5) I wanted to buy new shoes but i haven't buy them until now. (not raya shoes...just normal shoes)

6) I have to start dressing up femininely so i that i'll realised that i'm actually 18 and that i have to GROW UP, which i find it impossible because i believe (strongly) that there's still a kid in me.

7) There's 4 weeks holiday left and i'm still planning and wondering how i am going to spend them. I don't want to wail and complaint that 6 weeks of holiday is not enough, which i probably would because i'm such a lazy ass. I have to make this holiday worth it.

8) Kakak has been complaining how she lost a lot of weight. Big DUH. It's the fasting month what u expect? I hope she would just zip it.

9) There's a zoo-fest a home coz Wahidah just got a another monkey which smell just as bad as that stupid Gibson or maybe even worse. Named him/her/it woofer. What a stupid name. I bet there's no meaning to it. In fact there's no meaning keeping that woofer-idiot in the house. I am going to throw it away. hahaha. I dunno if it just me, but i seriously think that Naufal should work towards becoming a zookeeper or something. He actually go to youtube.com to watch how animals fight each other! E.g Lion VS tiger, or whale VS shark or all that crap. How boring can that be. I can't believe people actually post these videos up on youtube. maybe youtube is the new TV. And he watches Lion King for the 1000th time at home, he actually remembers the dialogue between the animals!

10) The results for 1st sem of Year 2 is coming out soon but i dunno when. I fear my gpa gonna drop. I hope not but i can't get my hopes up to high coz i slacked a lot. I'm still waiting patiently for the day....

Big YAWn. I want to sleeeeeeeppp. -___________- COUGH.

The starbucks meeting the other day was a bore to the core. ok it was a yawn-Fest. Eventhough the managers were screaming at the top of their lungs telling off all of us on what our mistakes were when on the Floor, my eyes were half-close till the end. Heck i didn't even remember half of what the meeting was all about. Both managers and partners were argueing so loudly, i noticed most of the customers were like staring at us.I think the whole entire Starbucks know that we were having a meeting -_-'''

Ok enough of work. I-have-just-finish-watching-Bleach-Diamond-Dust-Rebellion-!-!-!!! Ok it was cool. Much much better than the 1st Movie of Bleach. Soujirou Kusaka was like cool (he has BLACK hair!) Ishida Akira voiced his character. And can i like make Hitsugaya my kid brother? Ahahaha. I think i'm gonna rewatch it again when the subs are out at anime-media.com. Damn that movie should like show in Singapore. I bet the seats in the cinema's gonna be full. All sold-out. That would be nice.

Anyway, i saw this at deviantart. Is it cool or is it cool? heheh just look at yamamoto and hibari

Hi ok now i'm like really really really back ok ok ok? hehe. Well if u want to know a lot of things happen during the past 3 weeks. And i mean A LOT happen. Just that i actually....forgot what happen.. ok no point talking about the past now talk about the present.

It's the fasting month and my 4 weeks of school break is spent at home or at work..I already gave my schedule for next week. 5 days! I wanna work 5 DAYS!! if that manager won't give me 5 days i am gonna kill her!!! Work is fun. well depends on the ppl who are working with u.

I know i know....it's been a long long long time( i dunno how long but i know it's very long) since watch ANIME. heheheh. ok so i don't bother about bleach coz it's about that idiotic princess. But i still watch reborn, nabari no ou, soul eater, and d.grayman. I am already catching up with reborn and d.grayman. Woohoo! Can i like HUG Hibari!? He's like so cool! And i think Tsuna is now cool too. Especially with those X gloves thingy. U ppl should watch reborn. If u like mafia, action and adventure, comedy, comedy and more comedy watch Kateikyoushi Hitman Reborn! OK! I see myself in Tsuna sometimes. He used to have low self-esteem and i used to be like that too. Now he's like so determine to bring down the Millefiore Family!

I just bought the latest volume of Fullmetal Alchemist(manga). But i haven't read yet. Oh and i read Saiyuki Reload vol 7. I've yet to buy there beyond the beyond vol 5, hellsing vol 5, vampire knight vol 7. Maybe later.

It's been along time since i visit deviantart.com. Wonder if there's any interesting stuff there... going to check it out now so...bye bye:)

Firstly...i want to say i created my OWN website! Can u believe it? I am so not into all these web stuffs and i have a website. http://anemptyhouse.net/nad .cool or wat? Ok not cool . So not professional at all. Its ok Nad there is always a first time to everything.

Ok now is the hardest part. Sometimes i don't know what i'm doing. Why? Why did choose a design course. Why did i decide to work. Why do i think too much. Why am i an introvert. Why. Why.Why. Why do i question myself so much. Huh?... anyway...whywhywhy. I screwed up the other day at Starbucks. I felt so slenger there. Embarrassed to the core. I hate using that cash register. I notice other store/restaurants that they don't have to reprint receipts after making the transactions. I don't understand why coffee bean and Starbucks have to diediedie re-print the receipt. N i wonder why i am SLOW. Well that's how i feel. yesterday i couldn't take it anymore and i finally told kakak and Wahidah that i'm actually stress. N i cried. I feel like giving up on everything. Luckily there's ibu. If not for her, rite now i would have not care of everything. People say i think too much. I used to ignore that statement. But now i think it is so damn true. Yeah Nad u think too much. U should actually put yourself 1st before other once in a while. If not u are going to lose in life. U should stand up for yourself. Sometimes being a bitch is worth it....

Ok that matter aside....i HAve FLU. I HATE U FLU. WHY DO HAVE TO CHOOSE ME. Argh. I am not getting any better. And i have assignment i have yet to complete. This is too much for me. Seriously. Rite now, i seriously need luck to survive my year 2.

N i haven't watch D.GRAYMAN EPISODE 93 until now. because my home computer and laptop is being an ass and refuse to download the episode for me. Now i like Allen Walker. But i still like Kanda more.

I actually should leave anime and manga aside 1st and concentrate on my upcoming sudent project 3. So goodbye anime i will not be seeing u for 3 weeks! heheh :)

Why so SERIOUS?

Yes i know it's been like 5 days since i updated my blog but i did watch The Dark Knight after i bought the ticket on Wednesday. I watched it on 17 July, alone, and i watched it again just now at 9pm with Saiful and Kairos. Luckily when i watch on the 17 July, I got the back seat and can fully understand the movie without anyone disturbing me. For example like... my older sister.. but when i watched just with the 2 guys we sat like at the 4th row so i had to like lean back and tilt my head upwards. Gave my neck cramps. But yeah the movie didn't disappoint me 1 bit. Coz i paid $6 for a 2hr movie. Batman, Joker and Harvey Dent/Two face were great. Eventhough Batman kept using that gruff/grizzly bear-like voice everytime he's in the batman suit. It annoys me. Saiful admitted that too. It was annoying. But the Two face character wasn't really doing anything major in the movie. He's just trying to take revenge for everything he lost. So in the end, the Joker rulez as the major villian. Heath Ledger did a more fantastic job being the Joker than Jack Nicholson. Too bad he bit the dust. I just love DC comic villians. They make the story going and interesting. Plus they don't wear their underwear on the outside. Doesn't make them look gay.

Speaking of the Joker, I was browsing through deviantart.com to see more Joker artwork. Some just blew me away(they were incredible) except for those who took pictures of themselves with the make-up on but instead of the messy green hair they had those emo-shit hairstyles. Like what the hell....Joker suppose to be psychotic, not emo. Anyway, i love the Dark Knight. Coz Joker really OWNS.

Must WATCH!

OK this is it. The Dark Knight is going to make its debut on 17 july which is tmrw. I've been telling the whole class on and on and on that if they don't wanna watch with me on Thursday , then i'm gonna watch it ALONE. Yes .1st time. ALONE. I've never been to the movies alone before. At first i asked Saiful and Kairos if they wanna watch, but they go some stupid school thingy going on so they can't make it on Thursday. When i came to school a few hours later, my class decided to watch Batman on Friday. But i can't go with them coz i gotta go work from 5pm-1am. Drat. I asked the old and young sis if they wanna go but the old sis said next time which is i don't know when and the young one claimed she had no money. I'm so not going to blanja anyone this time so i guess i had no choice but to go alone. the reason i so wanted to catch that movie was because i wanna see the Joker. Sure i know that Batman is hot but i just wanna see the Joker. I've been browsing through deviantart.com and i noticed a lot of Joker works. And they are just gorgeous. Well, to me they are. That's why i've fallen in love with that lunatic phsyco-criminal.



But there's worse to come. I just realised a few minutes ago that i'm not the only one who adore the cape crusader! they are like million others who adore him just as much as i do. So i went to check Cathay's website to see if the batman's e-Ticketing were open to be booked. Sure enough, the 7pm slot were already half full. But then i noticed that there was one seat in between the rest that no one occupy. I'm am so hoping that there's no other idiotic kiasu person who would die die want that seat too. Coz i want that seat! Ok so 1st things 1st, later after school, i'm heading straight to Causeway Point's Cathay and die die die buy that seat. I DON'T CARE.

By adonihs

By lastscionz

CosFest pics

Here are some of the pics i took from Cosfest:

Cute!

Ulquiorra!

Espada Class
Kenshin... M.I.A?!
Yahiko Kawaii!

Holly and Me

Kuchiki Byakuya

Sailormoon(taken by debbie)
Hibari, Tsuna, Mokuro (can't find yamamoto n gokudera:( )
FF7
Ogama no Kamatari!

L
She OWNS
Close up
Some random cosplayer
Shirley as NEar

Cute!
Ishida from Bleach
Inuyasha
Vizard vs Espada
D.gray-man cast ( there are 2 Allens?!)

Look here lah!

CoSFEST WAS COOOOOLLLLLL.....

Yesterday was....COSFEST. 2nd time i went there.No i didn't cosplay but i took pictures of the cosplayers! hehe. Fun was all that matters yesterday. I took any oppurtunity that i have to just squeeze through all those professional photographers to take all those pics of my favourite characters. Me and my friends was like... gosh ours are just normal digital cameras... they own those Canon cameras!!
Yes we are just ametuers. I was gasping every second i saw people cosplaying as my favourite characters. I went.... look! there's D.Gray-man! Where's Noah family? Bleach! bleach! bleach! Eh i want to take Bleach! Kyaaah! Ulquiorra! There's Ulquiorra! BYAKUYA!Come come take picture! Where the hell is Vongola Family? Yamamoto... L! L-sama! Where's Light? Wow i didn't know Sailormoon was that popular...They are beautiful sluts! HI HOLLY! ahaha. Omg did i just saw Rurouni Kenshin cast? But why's Kenshin m.i.a? Hey that's a cute loli! Eh! Why is Saito...SHORT?! haha kaoru is beautiful sia!! wait...KAMATARI! look at camera and SMILE!!! Thank u. thank u. thank u! u guys are awesome.

Ok so i was hyper yesterday. I was like smiling when i reviewed all the pics that that i had taken. And don't forget about the artworks being sold and displayed there. Those were just gorgeous! My aim was to buy some Vongola artworks. But most of them were in chibi form so didn't buy because i am not a chibi fan. There were cool versions of them. But i didn't buy them coz they were yaoi. Like gokudera hugging Tsuna. N Hibari's and Dino's faces were like so close to each other they almost kissed. And i am not a yaoi fan as well. In the end i didn't buy anything. But i'm still satisfied coz i got to take pictures of the cosplayers. Pity i didn't get to take picture WITH them. How to? people are shoving each other to take them. I didn't get the chance and it was crowded. But during the end of year cosplay at Expo i am going to take picutures of me and them side by side. yes i will. Ok i don't have the time to post the pics up now coz i am going to work in just a few minutes. So i will do that later. Ciao!

i just got back from the dentist. I went there with my mum. And here i thought i could finally get over this braces thingy and move on with my life. but then mum cleverly told the dentist my teeth was not straight enough and she wanted to be perfectly straight like the ones u see in ads. I was like giving her signals behind the dentist's back. Please just get these painful braces out then i can live in peace please please please was what i was trying to tell my mum but she took no notice of it. It was like as if they were the ones who decide how my teeth will look like. and there was this sudden suggestion that the dentist would have to chip off the sides of my tooth in order to get the perfect teeth MY MUM wanted for me. I almost fainted. I shook my head aggressively saying that wasn't one of the option. I'm like hello? yoohoo? I'm the one suffering here??? Anyway, the appointment for next week was cancelled and i had to take another date for the next visit.Drat. Worse was that the next visit is on the 25th of August at 8am. So i have about 2 more months to endure the pain. Thanks a lot mum. Furthermore, Dr.Ros( the dentist) and her assistant were so annoyingly nice to me today it makes me almost wanna hurt them. I think it's because my mum was there. I was suprised. Usually they will not talk much to me and just ask me to come for the next visit and when they speak to me, they will explain as if i was a 10 year old kid. Gosh i'm really in a bad mood today. Now i have to wear not 2, but 3 elastics on my braces. The friction is really getting on me. Later on the sides of my mouth would have scars i am so sure of it. On the whole train ride back to home, i didn't even smile at all. I'm so not in the mood to talk to anyone.

Suprisingly when i got back home, everyone was here. Naufal was an exeption. He claimed that he had stomachache so he didn't go to school. He's probably delighted that he don't have to go there coz the way i see it, if he's so unwell, he wouldn't have taken out his 3 year old toys and played choo-choo train since afternoon. Bloody annoying. Now i'm so not in the mood to do anything. Argh. Shit the 'lazy' sickness is getting to me. I have to do my work....I HAVE TO...

There's a lot of things on my mind right now. And it's tearing me apart. I feel like going to the window and just SCREAM. argh. ok

1) i think i'm beginning to become lazy. That is something very dangerous. Thing is i hate to slack. Becoz if i slack i will never get things done.

2) i really have to be wise enough to manage time for school and work. I think i can't take both actually. Thing is i want to do both. And maintain my grades as it is. Or higher. I don't think the people in my school understand, but i don't take up jobs just for fun. It's because i think that i should actually support myself. I see that only see my mum as the breadwinner of the family now that my dad is ...gone. I appreciate that some of the other members of the family(i'm not gonna state who) sometimes support and help us emotionally and mentally. But i just can't shake my legs back and forth and wait for money to drop from the sky. In my opinion, to survive physically and mentally, and emotionally, u have to work. Hard. People say that money is not everything. But if you are living in a goddamn country like SINGAPORE i'm sorry to say that money IS everything. To survive that is. There's a price to EVERYTHING. So coming back to what i'm trying to say, I have to help myself to help my mum and sisters.

3) i keep thinking of dad. Whenever i remembered how he treated me when i was young, i realized how much he really changed. how very happy i felt that he changed for the much better person that he is today. Well, not really today...now that he's...gone. But yeah u get what i mean. This will never leave my memories for an entire lifetime. I don't care what other people say that he cared Aunty Sham and Mary much much more than us sisters especially me but i, as a daughter , have been hoping ,from young, he will changed to a better man. And it came true. That is all that i wanted in him. So yeah. I'm sad and happy and sad and happy....OMGosh... i got this mixed feeling.... and yeah i missed him.

4) I got this 2 stupid phobias 1)losing my thunbdrive(huh?) 2) fear that people will hate me. No.1 is the most scariest to me. But i never lose it before. It's just that i have this terrible feeling. No.2 is less scary. I always have this feeling that people talking about me eventhough i know that people actually don't care about me. They don't even bother. Maybe i'm just shiok sendiri. I need help on how to get rid of this unecessary sickness. I even checked on wikipedia if there are such phobia but to my dismay, none of them exist. So i need help. I know this the most stupidest thing that has ever happen to me. HELP Help help.

5) I think i have ... a ...crush...* shocks* I THINK. I dunno! I dunno what to think. I'm very confused. I don't know if it really is a crush. Out of my 18 years in life, I don't remember liking someone so much...well not that i like him so much...Ok i don't know! Argh. This is the 1st time i like LIKE someone.Ok not the 1st... 2nd maybe...? Ok NO! aaaahhh! I want and don't want him to notice me... Maybe he don't even know that i exist in this world. then it's good if he don't know.. but then i will look i'm a stalker. But i'm not a stalker. Ok now i'm beginning to blush! Omg! i hate this feeling. I never talk about who i like with anybody at all before... not even with my mum or sisters or my closest friend or other friends. Other people also never ask me who i like too. But since i'm 18, i think i have to let out my feelings more. and because of not to stress myself out on this kind of thing...I hope this feeling would go away soon...

Ok i feel better after bogging this shit. Thanks blogger. U really made my day. hehe :)

Pissed off. That's the word i can only think of right now. Pissed off of school, school, school work, lecturers, Wahidah...yeah.....these things (and person) pissed me off big time. Luckily i have to go to work. Sometimes being in a different environment lets you take a breather for a while. In my case it was Starbucks. Saturday was slamming all the way. From the moment i stepped in the store till 1am, the place was flooded with people queing up. The line was super long that at one point of time the line almost went out of the door. And as usual, monkeys(not humans) were the ones that came. It had gotten far more worse than before. I had to clear the tables like three times in a row every time i went to bus the whole store. Meaning that i had to take out the the bussing tray and go in and out like three times. I think the monkeys were having a wrestling match(term used by partners at PS) outside the store because when i went out, i notice that the chairs and tables were dragged to every corner of the area and there's this super HUGE space where they dumped used tissues and straws and paper cups on. I was like embarrassed. Not because i have to clear them away like a slave, but by the way they eat. I WOULD NEVER, IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE, EAT LIKE THEM I SWEAR. And i don't know if its a trend or a form of joke or if the smokers are just plain STUPID, but i don't find it funny when you dumped all the cigarette ashes in the cups and pour coffee in the ashtrays to the rim. I mean... WHY IN THE HELL would anybody do that? It doesn't make any freaking sense. but hey busing wasn't the only thing i did yesterday. I DID experdite the drinks to the customers! The other partners did the drinks and i will send it to the customers and SMILE and ask them if they want whipped cream on top. So at least i was on the floor for once and make the beverages for the customers occasionally. and it was more less of a hassle than BUSING. oh yeah i went to clear a table at one time and i saw that there were a lot of 7 Eleven's Big Gulp and no Starbucks drinks at all! So when i came into the backroom, the partners laughed and asked me if i had gone to 7-Eleven to bus and encouraged me to go to the restaurant next to our store and bus there as well. I was like Shut up! that's not funny guys! Then i laughed because i acually thought it was funny. My manager tried to give me a so-called compliment by saying that i could be the busing ambassodor for Starbucks, since i bus a lot... Haha. Not funny. Seriously. More like an insult if you ask me. Like come on duh... i don't have to explain right?

Anyway i will be working again at 4pm today. I hope that the customers realised that it is actually Sunday and they have work or school the following day so they should go home early and let us partners do less work. PLEASE, Please, please. Gosh, i'm so tired i wanna sleep right now. Wait. i should be sleeping right now. so bye.

ok..so the last post trailed off suddenly. That's because i have to go off to some place immediately. It always happens. When i'm buzy blogging about my insane life, my mom, sis or maklang would come into the room and say, " ok everyone ready? We'll go to *inserts the destination here* now."
And i'll be like turning off the damn computer and leave my post hanging just like that. So i apologize to the people who ever read my blog posts.

Anyway, Mukoishi Studio's cool. Eventhough i went to the office like only twice, i like the atmosphere there. And the lobby is cool. They have a lot of their works displayed there. And there's this lady who displayed a really big darth vader figurine on her desk. The height of it was as long as half my arm. I'm not a star wars fan but i thought displaying these figurines are cool. haha. Maybe if i work there, i would buy and displaymy own fav figurine. hehe. I hope i get to deliver coffee everytime i work during the morning shift. So that i'll get visit the studio. And if i'm lucky, i'll try to act all kepo2 and ask questions about their works. Then on the way i'll bring my portfolio and show them my works. And they'll recruit me as a 2d animator.Then i'll ditch Starbucks. And i'll be the one buying the morning coffee at Starbucks before going to work. Hahaha.

Yesterday, the sisters and i went to accompany Aunty Sham and Mary to settle some important matters on Dad's money matters thing. Something about who will get the money and all. Not that we want his money.We don't. We just want to settle these things on his behalf and get it over with. When we arrived at the URA building, the old receptionist told Aunty Sham to apply online and that didn't said that on the letter. So we wasted like 1 hour there. After that, it rained heavily so we decided to lepak at their house till 11pm. It was fun and sad at the same time. Fun because we talk and talk and talk about all kinds of stuff. Sad because Aunty Sham reminiscened about her past life. and she cried. i don't know about other people (other than my sisters) but i can realy really really feel that Aunty Sham and Mary missed Ayah badly. Like really badly to the core. I felt really bad(eventhough it's not my fault). I don't like seeing people around me to be sad. I want to do something extraordinary for them but i havent' got the faintest idea how.
I know that after clicking the publish post button i would later over react(for no reason), go to any random toilet and cry quietly.

I know Mom felt sad too. If not she wouldn't have come for the tahlils and baca surah Yassin for dad. No offence to dad's brothers and sisters but i actually felt that its strange that none of them came to Aunty sham's house during the 7 days after Dad's departure and my mom, who is divorced and doesn't have anything to do with my Dad, came. Ironic, isn't it?

Ok why am i still talking about the past? Because this thoughts are tearing my left and right brian apart and nobody bothered to ask how i feel and what are my thoughts so if i don't let it out, I'll probably die of stress. I wouldn't want that to happen. After this i will not repeat what i just type. what's the point? I'll just develop finger cramps later on...

that's it. this is more than enough. Bye.

work,school,work,school,work,school,work,school.Dead.

These past few days are fun.Working at Starbucks was stressful at 1st but I learn a lot there Not only making coffee. The partners there are a tough and funny bunch of people! Hope i can get along well with them in the future...*Starts practicing cup marking*

Now i'm modelling the brat's face for 3d modelling. I left with adjusting the head, mouth, chin, mirror them, add the hair and i'm done with it. Which means i have a long way to go to finish them all up! -__-... Curse Maya. Urgh! Thankfully, we got a week more to go before the so-called holidays finish. I still have to work(both School and Starbucks). I'm actually kind of worried that i'm the only one in my group(group 5) am currently juggling school and job. I hope i can pass and make it through year 3 next year. Talk about killing 2 birds with 1 stone.

Enough of school and work. As i'm typing, i'm waiting 20 minutes (or more) to let my hair dye. I'm coloring it to a medium auburn shade. well that's what the package said but i know i'll get a darker tone in the end. So much for me wanting black hair forever.Hehe. I have a fettish for bishounens with BLACK hair. Yes. A fettish. I just think that guys(bishonens)with black hair are so cool. Don't ask me why. They're just... cool... I can make a list of the black-haired bishonens that i love right now if my hands are not tired. Think i'll save it for later. I just recently saw the 6th ending song of Hitman Reborn! and Hibari Kyoya looks so hot with that snow cap on him.(He's black-haired by the way.) N Yamamoto looks cute. And Gokudera looks cute AND cool. haha i'm acting like a typical fan girl now what the heck. Currently i'm into D.Grayman, Nabari no Ou and Hitman Reborn!. They're the only animes that interest me for now. I'll give Bleach a pass coz there'll be some dumb fillers here and there. So no point watching. N there's no Ulquiorra. So all the more that i don't have to watch.

Just a few minutes ago me and the old sis painted our fingernails. Not exactly. I helped her with her homemade french manicure and i just shined my nails. Hers was more like 'french liquid paper ' than a manicure. It became worse when i put a 2nd coat of color to her fingernails. It looked so horrible because she chose the wrong color and didn't match her skin color. In the end she wasted one hour to remove all the color and just use the base coat polisher. So tomorrow i will be force to help with her manicure again.

Looking at my tagboard, it's an irony that the brat spammed with the word 'update' all over when she actually grumbes everytime i ask to use the computer. Excuse me? For the 100th time, this is not YOUR computer. We like SHARE it. N if you're the only one using it, it means Mom's paying the bill for u. That's like fucking unfair. So don't give those ugly faces everytime i ask to use the computer even only for a bit. Makes me want to puke. I WANT A NEW ROUTER. I need it. For my laptop. N this computer needs a makeover. Meaning the moniter, keyboard and mouse need to change. The keyboard is pathetically missing the letters a,s,n,m,c,f,g,o,z,x,k,h, '.' , '/' and '?'. N better still a scanner AND a proper conputer table. Now is just pathetic.

Ok so i have nothing else to talk about so i'll just end it here. I think i still have something to say....but i forgot. So good morning(it's 3:19am in the morning!!) and sleep tight everyone!

Ciao.

IT"S THE SO CALLED HOLIDAYS! ENJOY.

Yo! Finally its the holidays. For 2 weeks. And i still have to come to school and do work.(what the hell?!) Yesterday, i felt a heavy burden just being lifted up from my shoulders after 6pm. I'm saying that i completed my drawing assignments, 2d animation, and kinda semi-completed my 3d modelling that were dued before 6pm. I don't care about the 3d modelling assignment because we have to pass up the completed version after the holidays. So yeah i was happy yesterday. After school, me, Hols, Mat and a few guys decided to watch Kung-fu panda at cineleisure. But sadly, the 7.50 and 9.25 slots were fully taken so we couldn't watch. I don't have the mood or strenght to catch the late night movie because i was frakin damn tired. We decided to watch Narnia but they only offered us front row seats. We didn't take it. In the end, we decided to eat dinner. We went to this japanese restaurant. Think its called Sake Sushi. The food is typical japanese food quite similar to Sakae Sushi. I tried this Salmon Sashimi something-something don. BAsically, it was those sushi rice, with salmon, cucumbers and som fish roe. Not the small ones, but the big ones where when u bite them, n some fish liquid comes out. I know it sounded gross but it was nice. I ate whatever was in my bowl( it costs $6.90) and i took those jelly fish sushi from the conveyor belt and drank ice-lemon tea. So yesterday, we ate instead of watching a movie. Me, Hols and Mat decided to catch Kung-fu panda next week if we have time. So during the holidays i will be doing more( and lots of) assignments, working and doing some of my hobbies. *cries*

I haven't been painting and my deviant account looks so bland.... maybe i should forget about dmd and pratice painting, drawing(using my OWN style) and learning more about photoshop and corel painter... Speaking of Photoshop, I just got my CS3 adobe bundle yesterday! Woohoo! Its got photoshop, photoshop extended, illustrator, indesign, dreamweaver, and some other stuff which i don't now or care. ANd the best part is that u get them original version and only cost $81 if u buy it in NYP( this goes to NYP students and staffs ONLY). You buy it some place else you'll have to pay $1000+++. Seriously. Its that expensive.

OK so i'll pray hard that these 2 weeks better be worth it in my life and i'll update this blog if anything exciting happens. N i'll try editing the layout of my blog because IT TOTALLY SUCKS. Not my kind of style.
CIAO.

I'm now in school... I should be doing my 2d animation and 3d modelling and 3d animation assignment due this very week BUT i'm blogging instead. Nowadays i can't think straight. I'm not myself anymore. I don't even know if this is a good or bad thing. I think too much. That's why i started a blog. To let it all out. To say what i wanted to say for so long. Because in the real world, people don't care about you. You have to learn to be strong and independant. I don't know how to be strong or independant. It's been 1.5 months since Dad passed away. I don't say, look or show it, but i missed him. Like a whole lot. I know Kakak, Wahidah, Mary and Mama Sham missed him just as much as i do. Maybe even more. The last time i went to starbucks to work, I got the flashbacks when Dad was in the hospital, how shocked i was when i heard the news, the feeling of regret, his face was on my mind the whole time. People say it was not my fault,but i regret not being by his side on his last days on earth. I know i may not be his favourite child but sometimes when u think about it, deep inside u, u want to do all these father-daughter things. As a daughter... now i'll never get to do that anymore. Never did. Never could. So i really regret. I may regret it for life. But these things happen. Because this IS the real world. And it's happening to me. So i have to sabar. Like a lot. People may disagree with my thoughts in this blog but i don't care. This is what i think. I still remembered how he can acted cool and told us that his health is improving when it was obviously not because duh, he didn't want us to worry about him. But i can't help but think that he should tell us his condition earlier... because we are family right? Families share their worries together right. I actually hate it that he only told kakak and i got to know it like a month later...Maybe i should have ask how he was doing more frequently.. I know what u ppl wil say..too late to regret...N i freakin' hate it when ppl around me say to 'move on' or ' wake up'or 'be strong' becuase i will jolly well do that even without u ppl telling me. I just want to let out my problems and ppl to just nod their head and say nothing. Even, Saiful and Kairos was not there when i really needed them. We haven't contacted each other since the day Dad was gone. What happen to the we-are-friends-forever promise??

Now a friend of mine is playing this jazzy-kind-of song which something that Dad would listen. I wish she just stop the music coz my eyes beginning to shine.. It's gonna 'rain' soon...

I called starbucks just now saiyng that i can't come for work because i have classes in the evening. I lied. I can't because i have a lot of assignments to complete. But who cares right? I actually regret(again) that i decided to hold a part-time job while studying. Now i can't even find the time to read mangas, watch animes, painting crappy stuff ,basically my hobbies. I don't even exercise! Ok. i'll blog later again coz i reaalllly shouldn't be bogging in the 1st place. DO WORK DO WORK DO WORK DO WORK DO WORK DO WORK DO WORK DO WORK DO WORK DO WORK DO WORK.

Coffee, COfFee, coffEE, COFFEe, coffeE, COFFEE

When u 1st work at Starbucks, u'll probably say, "Hi, i'm a barista and i do busing 24/7." Not,"hi. i'm a barista and i make coffee." Seriously. I went to do busing for 100x.Yesterday was my 1st day of work. I was nervous like freaking hell. But i didn't get into any trouble so it was ok...OK on 2nd thought, it was not. Starbucks at plaza Singapura is buzy. Literally buzy.. Customer come in come out of the store every 5 mins. I really have to salute the baristas there. They are really capable ppl. They do multi-tasking better than me. N i here i thought i was good at multi tasking. Hehe. Mind u, Allen said that PS was the 2nd buzy store of all the starbucks cafes in Singapore. The 1st was at Raffles City. Ours are always competing with the one at Liat Towers.

Anyway as i was saying, I went to do busing for the upteenth time. Maybe the should just change the name of the position i am in. Maybe they should change it to....buser. Yeah. As in like u bus for life the 1st time u work at starbucks, wipe tables, clear tables and chairs, clean the condiment bar, greet and smile at the customers.. Then after u so-called "graduate" from a slave, then u'll become a barista and are allowed to make drinks for the customers. That should be the way. Hey i'll tell u now that Singaporeans dunno how to eat. I dunno about u guys who read this post eat but when i went to clear some tables during my shift, i saw tissues. Mountains of them. On the tables on the chairs and on the floor. The worst part was that they were all clean. I think they use their shirt to wipe their stinking mouths. And i saw straws on their plates, forks in their cups and cookie crumbs all over the table. Gosh.. i didn't know if i was hallucinating and saw a monkey instead of a human being who ate just now. Omgosh....I'll just blog next time... this is only the 1st part. I gotta go to Aunty Sham's house for the kenduri.
Ciao ciao Kora!

Came back home from school at 10pm. I didn't get to eat anything since morning. No time. Yes. No time to eat.I had school from 9am-5pm. There was only a 1-hour break N i used the break to stuff in more crap about web design into my journal for submission on web class. The web design test was ok i guess. I didn't get to finish completely but it's just that i got a bit of a problem when trying to figure out how to adjust the color of the border and some text here and there. Anyway, there's no re-test so i dun have to care anymore. Stayed back at school after 5pm to do some 2d animation assignment which is due next week.

Me, kakak, wahidah, ibu, mak lang and naufal went to watch a horror film Congkak yesterday night. We decided to watch the 9pm slot. The story/plot was typical i guess. Long ago, some royalty family battle each other in a game of congkak and there was this 'old woman' who was there witnessing the events/spiritual rituals all along then everybody died and the land where the royalties stayed were still considered sacred then many years later on one fine day, a family of 4 bought a house which was unfortunately, built on that land and they decided to stay there for the holidays only to find out there was a penunggu in the house yada yada yada... well you'll know the rest....In my opinion, i think that the main plot was about the penunggu and not about the congkak. What's so scary about playing a game of congkak? I thought it was suppose to be fun. They should have rename the title of the movie. I mean...even if the penunggu would play a game of Monopoly, in the end the audience will be scared of the penunggu instead of the game right? N i think that the sound effects that made the movie scary. But sadly, they overused it. I mean come on lah, Lisa(the younger sister) went to go to bed at night and there was no ghost and as she woke up the next morning there was this loud whoosh sound effect eventhough there was still no ghost in sight. N the effects they used on the exorcism on the mom was downright cheap. Instead of some scary blood effects, there were these tiny,shiny,colurful, pearly lights around her. How can that be scary? Seriously, they should have used Adobe After Effects or browse through videocopilot.net and learn some cool video effects that will suit a horror flick. The only part that i thought was really scary was when the penunggu was sitting on the kitchen table top. Coz when that creature turn to look at the dad it's face was so black and dripping.Like eww.... Well it was more to gross than scary actually..While everybody in the cinema was holding back from screaming, I was buzy staring at the floor trying my best to hold myself from vomitting. Wahidah commented that the ghost looks abit like The Thing from Fantastic 4. I kind of agree...Well just more gross...Anyway, out of 5 stars, i would give this flicko a 3. The acting was great and all..just the plot a bit common...

Ok i think i type more than enough for today. N look at the time. It's already like 1.45am! N i got class at 8am which means i have about 4 hours to get some shut eye....BIG YAWN...3d animation...i hope i'll survive today...
Nad over and out.

Rite. My 1st post... I just reached home drenched to the skin because it was raining.. I could have taken out my unbrella but i didn't...too lazy and its just a few metres away from Mak Lang's house from the MRT. After blogging, i'm gonna force myself to model tyra banks's face and show the work in progress to the lecturer for tomorrow's class. And i'm figuring out how i am gonna do all that when i haven't even find the side profile of tyra. The worst thing is that i didn't complete my modelling of a character's face from last week's class. And drawing..OMG My sketchbook has only 5 drawings inside! (!?) I'm so dead if i don't show my sketchbook to Mr.Juinn by this friday.. There's gonna be a mini-test on drawing class. Luckily, there's no points given if we like pass or FAIL the test. Juinn said that the test was just to show how we are progressing in our drawing skills. Like i care. Speaking of tests, I'll be digging a grave beside the computer in the pc lab tmrw on web design class BECOZ i noe nuts about css...I dun like web design...not my forte. That's why i go for animation specialisation. But i think i know more stuff about css and html crappola than u bloggers out there who only copy paste copy paste blogskin's css rite? haha well some bloggers i think... wait.. what am i saying? I myself am blogging this instance for crying out loud!

So here's the plan:
1) do 3d modelling
2) drawing
3) animation
4) web design( IF have time)

If I don't complete even one of the asignments stated above, I 'll say sayonara to world tmrw.
Nad over n out.

Prologue

Wow. I didn't expect myself to create a blog. The last time i remembered that i kept a diary was in primary 5. And the only phrase i wrote was "Dear Diary,". Basically, I'll try to be more open from now on and write down my thoughts about myself and the world so that i don't find myself trap in my own hellhole from the last 18 years of my sad life...so hello and nice to meet u all:D