Pissed off. That's the word i can only think of right now. Pissed off of school, school, school work, lecturers, Wahidah...yeah.....these things (and person) pissed me off big time. Luckily i have to go to work. Sometimes being in a different environment lets you take a breather for a while. In my case it was Starbucks. Saturday was slamming all the way. From the moment i stepped in the store till 1am, the place was flooded with people queing up. The line was super long that at one point of time the line almost went out of the door. And as usual, monkeys(not humans) were the ones that came. It had gotten far more worse than before. I had to clear the tables like three times in a row every time i went to bus the whole store. Meaning that i had to take out the the bussing tray and go in and out like three times. I think the monkeys were having a wrestling match(term used by partners at PS) outside the store because when i went out, i notice that the chairs and tables were dragged to every corner of the area and there's this super HUGE space where they dumped used tissues and straws and paper cups on. I was like embarrassed. Not because i have to clear them away like a slave, but by the way they eat. I WOULD NEVER, IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE, EAT LIKE THEM I SWEAR. And i don't know if its a trend or a form of joke or if the smokers are just plain STUPID, but i don't find it funny when you dumped all the cigarette ashes in the cups and pour coffee in the ashtrays to the rim. I mean... WHY IN THE HELL would anybody do that? It doesn't make any freaking sense. but hey busing wasn't the only thing i did yesterday. I DID experdite the drinks to the customers! The other partners did the drinks and i will send it to the customers and SMILE and ask them if they want whipped cream on top. So at least i was on the floor for once and make the beverages for the customers occasionally. and it was more less of a hassle than BUSING. oh yeah i went to clear a table at one time and i saw that there were a lot of 7 Eleven's Big Gulp and no Starbucks drinks at all! So when i came into the backroom, the partners laughed and asked me if i had gone to 7-Eleven to bus and encouraged me to go to the restaurant next to our store and bus there as well. I was like Shut up! that's not funny guys! Then i laughed because i acually thought it was funny. My manager tried to give me a so-called compliment by saying that i could be the busing ambassodor for Starbucks, since i bus a lot... Haha. Not funny. Seriously. More like an insult if you ask me. Like come on duh... i don't have to explain right?

Anyway i will be working again at 4pm today. I hope that the customers realised that it is actually Sunday and they have work or school the following day so they should go home early and let us partners do less work. PLEASE, Please, please. Gosh, i'm so tired i wanna sleep right now. Wait. i should be sleeping right now. so bye.

ok..so the last post trailed off suddenly. That's because i have to go off to some place immediately. It always happens. When i'm buzy blogging about my insane life, my mom, sis or maklang would come into the room and say, " ok everyone ready? We'll go to *inserts the destination here* now."
And i'll be like turning off the damn computer and leave my post hanging just like that. So i apologize to the people who ever read my blog posts.

Anyway, Mukoishi Studio's cool. Eventhough i went to the office like only twice, i like the atmosphere there. And the lobby is cool. They have a lot of their works displayed there. And there's this lady who displayed a really big darth vader figurine on her desk. The height of it was as long as half my arm. I'm not a star wars fan but i thought displaying these figurines are cool. haha. Maybe if i work there, i would buy and displaymy own fav figurine. hehe. I hope i get to deliver coffee everytime i work during the morning shift. So that i'll get visit the studio. And if i'm lucky, i'll try to act all kepo2 and ask questions about their works. Then on the way i'll bring my portfolio and show them my works. And they'll recruit me as a 2d animator.Then i'll ditch Starbucks. And i'll be the one buying the morning coffee at Starbucks before going to work. Hahaha.

Yesterday, the sisters and i went to accompany Aunty Sham and Mary to settle some important matters on Dad's money matters thing. Something about who will get the money and all. Not that we want his money.We don't. We just want to settle these things on his behalf and get it over with. When we arrived at the URA building, the old receptionist told Aunty Sham to apply online and that didn't said that on the letter. So we wasted like 1 hour there. After that, it rained heavily so we decided to lepak at their house till 11pm. It was fun and sad at the same time. Fun because we talk and talk and talk about all kinds of stuff. Sad because Aunty Sham reminiscened about her past life. and she cried. i don't know about other people (other than my sisters) but i can realy really really feel that Aunty Sham and Mary missed Ayah badly. Like really badly to the core. I felt really bad(eventhough it's not my fault). I don't like seeing people around me to be sad. I want to do something extraordinary for them but i havent' got the faintest idea how.
I know that after clicking the publish post button i would later over react(for no reason), go to any random toilet and cry quietly.

I know Mom felt sad too. If not she wouldn't have come for the tahlils and baca surah Yassin for dad. No offence to dad's brothers and sisters but i actually felt that its strange that none of them came to Aunty sham's house during the 7 days after Dad's departure and my mom, who is divorced and doesn't have anything to do with my Dad, came. Ironic, isn't it?

Ok why am i still talking about the past? Because this thoughts are tearing my left and right brian apart and nobody bothered to ask how i feel and what are my thoughts so if i don't let it out, I'll probably die of stress. I wouldn't want that to happen. After this i will not repeat what i just type. what's the point? I'll just develop finger cramps later on...

that's it. this is more than enough. Bye.

work,school,work,school,work,school,work,school.Dead.

These past few days are fun.Working at Starbucks was stressful at 1st but I learn a lot there Not only making coffee. The partners there are a tough and funny bunch of people! Hope i can get along well with them in the future...*Starts practicing cup marking*

Now i'm modelling the brat's face for 3d modelling. I left with adjusting the head, mouth, chin, mirror them, add the hair and i'm done with it. Which means i have a long way to go to finish them all up! -__-... Curse Maya. Urgh! Thankfully, we got a week more to go before the so-called holidays finish. I still have to work(both School and Starbucks). I'm actually kind of worried that i'm the only one in my group(group 5) am currently juggling school and job. I hope i can pass and make it through year 3 next year. Talk about killing 2 birds with 1 stone.

Enough of school and work. As i'm typing, i'm waiting 20 minutes (or more) to let my hair dye. I'm coloring it to a medium auburn shade. well that's what the package said but i know i'll get a darker tone in the end. So much for me wanting black hair forever.Hehe. I have a fettish for bishounens with BLACK hair. Yes. A fettish. I just think that guys(bishonens)with black hair are so cool. Don't ask me why. They're just... cool... I can make a list of the black-haired bishonens that i love right now if my hands are not tired. Think i'll save it for later. I just recently saw the 6th ending song of Hitman Reborn! and Hibari Kyoya looks so hot with that snow cap on him.(He's black-haired by the way.) N Yamamoto looks cute. And Gokudera looks cute AND cool. haha i'm acting like a typical fan girl now what the heck. Currently i'm into D.Grayman, Nabari no Ou and Hitman Reborn!. They're the only animes that interest me for now. I'll give Bleach a pass coz there'll be some dumb fillers here and there. So no point watching. N there's no Ulquiorra. So all the more that i don't have to watch.

Just a few minutes ago me and the old sis painted our fingernails. Not exactly. I helped her with her homemade french manicure and i just shined my nails. Hers was more like 'french liquid paper ' than a manicure. It became worse when i put a 2nd coat of color to her fingernails. It looked so horrible because she chose the wrong color and didn't match her skin color. In the end she wasted one hour to remove all the color and just use the base coat polisher. So tomorrow i will be force to help with her manicure again.

Looking at my tagboard, it's an irony that the brat spammed with the word 'update' all over when she actually grumbes everytime i ask to use the computer. Excuse me? For the 100th time, this is not YOUR computer. We like SHARE it. N if you're the only one using it, it means Mom's paying the bill for u. That's like fucking unfair. So don't give those ugly faces everytime i ask to use the computer even only for a bit. Makes me want to puke. I WANT A NEW ROUTER. I need it. For my laptop. N this computer needs a makeover. Meaning the moniter, keyboard and mouse need to change. The keyboard is pathetically missing the letters a,s,n,m,c,f,g,o,z,x,k,h, '.' , '/' and '?'. N better still a scanner AND a proper conputer table. Now is just pathetic.

Ok so i have nothing else to talk about so i'll just end it here. I think i still have something to say....but i forgot. So good morning(it's 3:19am in the morning!!) and sleep tight everyone!

Ciao.

IT"S THE SO CALLED HOLIDAYS! ENJOY.

Yo! Finally its the holidays. For 2 weeks. And i still have to come to school and do work.(what the hell?!) Yesterday, i felt a heavy burden just being lifted up from my shoulders after 6pm. I'm saying that i completed my drawing assignments, 2d animation, and kinda semi-completed my 3d modelling that were dued before 6pm. I don't care about the 3d modelling assignment because we have to pass up the completed version after the holidays. So yeah i was happy yesterday. After school, me, Hols, Mat and a few guys decided to watch Kung-fu panda at cineleisure. But sadly, the 7.50 and 9.25 slots were fully taken so we couldn't watch. I don't have the mood or strenght to catch the late night movie because i was frakin damn tired. We decided to watch Narnia but they only offered us front row seats. We didn't take it. In the end, we decided to eat dinner. We went to this japanese restaurant. Think its called Sake Sushi. The food is typical japanese food quite similar to Sakae Sushi. I tried this Salmon Sashimi something-something don. BAsically, it was those sushi rice, with salmon, cucumbers and som fish roe. Not the small ones, but the big ones where when u bite them, n some fish liquid comes out. I know it sounded gross but it was nice. I ate whatever was in my bowl( it costs $6.90) and i took those jelly fish sushi from the conveyor belt and drank ice-lemon tea. So yesterday, we ate instead of watching a movie. Me, Hols and Mat decided to catch Kung-fu panda next week if we have time. So during the holidays i will be doing more( and lots of) assignments, working and doing some of my hobbies. *cries*

I haven't been painting and my deviant account looks so bland.... maybe i should forget about dmd and pratice painting, drawing(using my OWN style) and learning more about photoshop and corel painter... Speaking of Photoshop, I just got my CS3 adobe bundle yesterday! Woohoo! Its got photoshop, photoshop extended, illustrator, indesign, dreamweaver, and some other stuff which i don't now or care. ANd the best part is that u get them original version and only cost $81 if u buy it in NYP( this goes to NYP students and staffs ONLY). You buy it some place else you'll have to pay $1000+++. Seriously. Its that expensive.

OK so i'll pray hard that these 2 weeks better be worth it in my life and i'll update this blog if anything exciting happens. N i'll try editing the layout of my blog because IT TOTALLY SUCKS. Not my kind of style.
CIAO.

I'm now in school... I should be doing my 2d animation and 3d modelling and 3d animation assignment due this very week BUT i'm blogging instead. Nowadays i can't think straight. I'm not myself anymore. I don't even know if this is a good or bad thing. I think too much. That's why i started a blog. To let it all out. To say what i wanted to say for so long. Because in the real world, people don't care about you. You have to learn to be strong and independant. I don't know how to be strong or independant. It's been 1.5 months since Dad passed away. I don't say, look or show it, but i missed him. Like a whole lot. I know Kakak, Wahidah, Mary and Mama Sham missed him just as much as i do. Maybe even more. The last time i went to starbucks to work, I got the flashbacks when Dad was in the hospital, how shocked i was when i heard the news, the feeling of regret, his face was on my mind the whole time. People say it was not my fault,but i regret not being by his side on his last days on earth. I know i may not be his favourite child but sometimes when u think about it, deep inside u, u want to do all these father-daughter things. As a daughter... now i'll never get to do that anymore. Never did. Never could. So i really regret. I may regret it for life. But these things happen. Because this IS the real world. And it's happening to me. So i have to sabar. Like a lot. People may disagree with my thoughts in this blog but i don't care. This is what i think. I still remembered how he can acted cool and told us that his health is improving when it was obviously not because duh, he didn't want us to worry about him. But i can't help but think that he should tell us his condition earlier... because we are family right? Families share their worries together right. I actually hate it that he only told kakak and i got to know it like a month later...Maybe i should have ask how he was doing more frequently.. I know what u ppl wil say..too late to regret...N i freakin' hate it when ppl around me say to 'move on' or ' wake up'or 'be strong' becuase i will jolly well do that even without u ppl telling me. I just want to let out my problems and ppl to just nod their head and say nothing. Even, Saiful and Kairos was not there when i really needed them. We haven't contacted each other since the day Dad was gone. What happen to the we-are-friends-forever promise??

Now a friend of mine is playing this jazzy-kind-of song which something that Dad would listen. I wish she just stop the music coz my eyes beginning to shine.. It's gonna 'rain' soon...

I called starbucks just now saiyng that i can't come for work because i have classes in the evening. I lied. I can't because i have a lot of assignments to complete. But who cares right? I actually regret(again) that i decided to hold a part-time job while studying. Now i can't even find the time to read mangas, watch animes, painting crappy stuff ,basically my hobbies. I don't even exercise! Ok. i'll blog later again coz i reaalllly shouldn't be bogging in the 1st place. DO WORK DO WORK DO WORK DO WORK DO WORK DO WORK DO WORK DO WORK DO WORK DO WORK DO WORK.

Coffee, COfFee, coffEE, COFFEe, coffeE, COFFEE

When u 1st work at Starbucks, u'll probably say, "Hi, i'm a barista and i do busing 24/7." Not,"hi. i'm a barista and i make coffee." Seriously. I went to do busing for 100x.Yesterday was my 1st day of work. I was nervous like freaking hell. But i didn't get into any trouble so it was ok...OK on 2nd thought, it was not. Starbucks at plaza Singapura is buzy. Literally buzy.. Customer come in come out of the store every 5 mins. I really have to salute the baristas there. They are really capable ppl. They do multi-tasking better than me. N i here i thought i was good at multi tasking. Hehe. Mind u, Allen said that PS was the 2nd buzy store of all the starbucks cafes in Singapore. The 1st was at Raffles City. Ours are always competing with the one at Liat Towers.

Anyway as i was saying, I went to do busing for the upteenth time. Maybe the should just change the name of the position i am in. Maybe they should change it to....buser. Yeah. As in like u bus for life the 1st time u work at starbucks, wipe tables, clear tables and chairs, clean the condiment bar, greet and smile at the customers.. Then after u so-called "graduate" from a slave, then u'll become a barista and are allowed to make drinks for the customers. That should be the way. Hey i'll tell u now that Singaporeans dunno how to eat. I dunno about u guys who read this post eat but when i went to clear some tables during my shift, i saw tissues. Mountains of them. On the tables on the chairs and on the floor. The worst part was that they were all clean. I think they use their shirt to wipe their stinking mouths. And i saw straws on their plates, forks in their cups and cookie crumbs all over the table. Gosh.. i didn't know if i was hallucinating and saw a monkey instead of a human being who ate just now. Omgosh....I'll just blog next time... this is only the 1st part. I gotta go to Aunty Sham's house for the kenduri.
Ciao ciao Kora!